They are Proud of the Way they Are.

This past weekend was 2014 DC Gay Pride festival, Jamie and I went there and had our first time gay parade. We marched with our friends from Affirmation : Gay and Lesbian Mormons. It was one the the best experiences I ever had in my life. ^_^

A lady saw Jamie's T-shirt and asked, "Who's that crazy boyfriend?" Four people that heard that all responded to her before I had a chance. lol

There were a lot of things I'd imagined before I came to America, one thing was to get to know other gay Mormons. It was a very daring anticipation that there would have other gay Mormons, I looked it up online and beyond surprisingly I found several groups and started talking to other gay Mormons.

It's really good to have a group like Affirmation that lets us know we are not alone and we have supports. :) Especially hearing those stories and experiences from people helped me grow a lot stronger in this journey.


The parade was in the afternoon, Jamie and I drove to one of the metro stops and  rode to the heart of DC to meet our group. The spirit of the festival immediately dawned on us, people wore special custom (or didn't wear anything lol ) were on the train chatting; rainbow symbols were everywhere decorated on people.

It was said, closer we got to our destination, more people were on the train. By the time we left the train, we were barely able to walk because it's too crowded.




We tried to find our group but it was like finding a needle under the sea. However, our friend, Mark, caught my eyes because he was in his white shirts and tie - Mormonism's signature. Affirmation people were finishing up the signs; children also helped, putting up all the colors.









My mind was absolutely blown away when we started marching,"This city is crazy! I thought, "Crazily awesome!" It was very touching that so many people were celebrating the festival, it almost felt like all of them were proud of us being gay, they were celebrating our lives with us. They shouted "Happy Pride" and waved at everyone that's marching. My cheeks were so sore due to non stopped laughing.

You are all very welcome to visit my Facebook page to see more pictures.

https://www.facebook.com/MingandIpotogether

Gallery

I wondered what was in everyone's mind at the festival.
If my sister Chelsea was there, she might be counting how many cute guys there had. I am now going to "display" my collections for her sake.

You can't say no to cute college boys. 

Or Huskies?

More Seasonings? 

For some reason this gentleman told me he would be there all day and welcomed me to go back to find him.

I believe my friend, Quinn has one same tank! 

Bears? Perhaps. 

What about Her?

ha ha I hope ya'll find your favorite boy(s). ;) If you still couldn't find one... 

Here has a bunch!

Looking at these pictures really makes me happy! (I don't only mean the ones above. :P ) That day was full of glee! You couldn't believe how happy everybody was.

Happy Faces

 

 

 

 

He seemed to e telling me he's married. ^_^

Sassy!

Second Day of the Festival

Today we had our sister Jeanette accompany us! Jamie and Jeanette were like elementary school kids going on school field trip. Super cute.

Many organizations held booths at the festival, Affirmation had one too and was giving out free Hugs! I loved the whole free hugs idea, a simple hug really could express a lot of love and support. 

I felt a little shy though.. :') thankfully, people were kind to me and were willing to come over to hug me. Our friend, Brandon, held my arm high and shouted, "Free hugs free hugs!" Some people smiled at us and came, some people refused to have eye contact with us in case it got awkward. I felt I was on the mission again. :P

Many people asked me where was I from, two people thought I was from Japan, one said I was from Korea; a group of South Asians shouted at me and said I should definitely hang out with them and gave me candies; two gentlemen said, "Oh my gosh! Cute Thai!"and came over to hug me and gave me their numbers. :P Nobody realized I was a Taiwanese.


There were many cool people at the festival, very daring. Not only guys were topless, but also some of women. People holding hands were very common. I was glad to see how happy they were for the way they were. Undoubtedly Jamie and I will be going to Pride again next year, and the years in the rest of our lives. ^_^

I hope you enjoy this blog, and again, you may see all the pictures on my Facebook page. :)


 Thank you for readying it.

Love,
Teddy

Care Them Not

I was very scared of growing up when I was a child. I didn't want to be one of those grown-ups that I didn't like, I thought growing up meant being careless for other people, also meant becoming cruel. I heard about bad things about adult-life a lot, and they terrified me. I was afraid of losing my sincerity once I grew up.

You will get "You shouldn't have done that" a lot in this world. Every individual has their own explanation and expectation to this world, and they work very hard to live up to their standard by keeping reminding themselves what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes, they can't help themselves to correct other people what they should have done and they shouldn't have done. That's why we get judgement a lot.

Some people take judgement as encouragement; some people take it as critical comment; some consider it as bullsh*t/ crap/ hater's word. I am not sure what way to take is right, everybody has their explanation..

However, people may still comfort you and tell you not to take it too seriously and just forget about it. Surprisingly, that never works for me, I still take it extremely seriously and still feel hurt.

When I was in the Church and was a missionary, I went out everyday to tell people I understood their feelings and knew what's the best for them. I stated that I knew a way to change their lives and I would help them to feel happy. I wasn't lying, not at all. I was really happy being a missionary and was really convinced that I could help. And the truth was, many people felt my joy and found their joy too.

Some didn't.

Come to think of it now, I realized why couldn't they be happy as I was. Because they weren't me. I thought no matter who we were, we all could apply a principle to our lives to be happy, but I was not 100% correct. This world is built by tons and tons and tons of things, and it has tons and tons and tons of lives going on every second. Everybody is different, there's no only one life and one standard and one reason. Do you know where the hardest part is? Everything is all connected together and you are too little for the world, your strength is too weak to change it.

Yes, there was a way to be happy.. You could look at things differently by washing away the dust in your eyes. But in the next second, some strange wind would blow bad thing to you again; and soon, some hurtful rock will hit you again. You could continue encouraging yourself and stretch the corners of your mouth to smile, to be happy.... until you lost all your energy and gave up.

Probably going to bed would be a good way to charge yourself.
What if you couldn't even sleep?


Friends/ parents/ partners are the important characters, they stand by you and lend shoulders to you when you need them.
But who knows when is the right time somebody needs comforts??
Some may say it's when people ask you to help; meanwhile some people may complain "Why do I always have to let you know that I need help? Why can't you just notice that? I thought we were friends!"
Some may always go out to help and give suggestions; yet they can be annoying to their friends. Being caring about people for something they don't even care themselves is like hitting a wall that you don't know who else to blame but yourself. You realize running into a wall isn't some pleasant experience so you learn to not care anymore. So you won't help if nobody asks.
Kids may accuse their parents that they don't love them, they are only trying to monopoly them and turn them into something they aren't. Parents don't listen, they feed their kids because they want them to finish the dreams they have.
Partners stay together only because they can find pleasure on each other, and when one of them fails to satisfy the balance between them, they break up and find someone else that meets the ideal.
They say other people are selfish. Funny thing is everybody gets that comment.

Is it weird? I though that's pretty weird.. but to face the truth, that's exactly what I was afraid of since I was a kid. I didn't want to be one of the adults I thought that weren't right, but I am becoming one.

It hurts too much to realize I can't change the world because I can't even change myself. It's too painful to accept who I am and I have no way to deal with it.

Simply Love; Simply Happy

Hello my friends! I hope you all are doing well.

Fly - Monkey Majik


As usual, I will write something about my life and share some thoughts with you. I am still waiting for my green card to be issued and for the permission to work. For months I've been living in the States, I had studied very hard, had done some music and drawing projects, but sometimes, I still wonder "What can I do?" Life here is very different from Taiwan, simple facts, language is different, food is different, weather is different, I have had a lot to adapt and am still working on it. Sometimes I feel it's a dream-come-true that I am here in America, waking up everyday with my loved one and going to bed together; sometimes I can't help but wondering if it'd be easier that I just lived in Taiwan with cheaper food and didn't worry about job and rent.

When it's cold and snowing outside, I hide myself in the room and watch Jamie's DVD collections. I've never watched so much TV my whole life - School used to monopoly my life, late night study and class on weekends, for years I was only engaged to a life like that. (I couldn't even watch any 30-min Pokemon on TV on Saturday evenings.) But now I got to spend hours laying in bed, watching One Tree Hill and cry and scream and become dramatic with the characters on the show. I feel I am becoming chubbier, lazier, unattractive.

Jamie spanked me (not for fun) and said I was a bad boy - for the reason I looked down on myself. I ask him if he'd ever stop loving me because I am unemployed and not working hard to change that.
He didn't respond to me but only spooned me from my back and wanted me to take some rest.

I kept thinking why would somebody fall in love? Maybe for an eye-candy, a hot body? Maybe that someone's talented? Maybe for money? Maybe for a nice job? Maybe they need somebody to argue or to fulfill their "submissive fantasy"?  Why would he love me and marry me? Would he change his mind when I stop making him laugh and when I become less attractive? Would he stop admiring me when my singer-dream get busted and become a waiter in a local restaurant?

His reason was nothing else but the way I looked at him, he loved me because he's at the same place in my heart like I was in his. This reason is simple and will never dim.


As far as I am concerned, life is quite complicated, Human beings are weird because they can't make it complicated enough. The way you talk and behave should be appropriate, should sound pleasant; even when you are telling the truth, you can never hurt other people's feeling, or you just merely can't say the truth too be true. :P Moreover, you have to meet other people's anticipations, despite how unrealistic they are, you should go to the best college, you should find a wonderfully paid job, you should go on mission.

For what we are fighting? What other requirements are there? Whom do we need to show our transcripts? And what are the rewards?


Back in Taiwan, $1 could take care of a meal, but that rate really only exists in another world if you live in America; I paid $166.67 to rent a studio when I was in college, now we pay $600 for only a small room and shared bathroom in somebody's house. Sometimes I go to bed regardless my stomach protest how hungry it is, I can't help thinking how great that was when my mom took us to buy night snacks before going to bed. I struggle with my tears in my eyes, looking at my husband who's already asleep, I finally smile and tell myself it's all worthy.

It's true we are poor, and it's not going to be better when Jamie graduates. He'll have his internship and get no paid for a few months, we still don't know if I will be able to work legally yet. And we still haven't known where to live next.


"What do I want?" Haven't I left the place that's full of arguments? Haven't I gotten rid of the people who were truly selfish but pretended they cared about me? Haven't I stopped being a puppet and being manipulated?
I now have a guy who loves me with all his heart; who doesn't need to travel the world to be happy; who wakes up in the morning to cover me blanket and kiss me; who never implies I am not good enough for him... He simply loves me and wants me to be simply happy.


People always list their requirements, they compare the prices on the labels, and they regret how much they pay more on something but forget to value they thing in their hands.

In this moment, there are a million people that are laughing; three million people that are crying; four million people that are fighting; nine million people that can feel nothing. But you are the only one that can decide what you wanna be, and take your own responsibility.

Loneliness and waiting are the price to realize what suits you the best;
Failures and frustration are the price to search and test miracles;
Poor and hungry are the price to save bigger property.

Love is simple, it's complicates to some people because they can't be satisfied. If you can look at it more clearly, you can have a sincere happiness. Jamie only needs a reason to love me and to build a future with me, attributed to that, I am becoming a happier person.

My Love - Teddy

(English Translation)

Climbing the mountain, I feel tired of the struggles, I can't decide whether to go up or down.
The shells collected last year, wouldn't be as beautiful as they were to me if I stop looking at them the way I did.
I thought it would be easier if I could just stop trying, because I forgot what I were looking for.

Love, still exists, as long as I turn my face to the other side.
Go, find my happiness back, stop waiting and wondering.
He will be waiting like a lighthouse at the beach,
waiting for me to come back, waiting for me to realize, waiting for a smile he had admired.
He never leaves, he is my love.




(I hope the lyrics make sense :P)

Thank you for reading this blog. ^_^
Until next time

-- Teddy

He sees the Best in Me

Hello friends, I haven't write any new blog for awhile, I hope you guys haven't forgot because of that. :) 

My green card application is processing, which means I am really staying! Even now, I still can't believe this is my life. Part of me is still afraid the bubble will be busted anytime when I am not cautious. Dramatic? I know.. :P I guess the only way to explain it is it's too good to be true.

Last night after Jamie and I kissed goodnight, I started thinking of writing a blog and what would I share in it. When I realized, I was crying already. Jamie was half-asleep, he was so tired after working all day, but my sobbing still woke him up and made him worried. I wiped away my tears and told him I was okay, I said, "Even when our life was hard, and I did not make it any easier, you still chose me, chose us.. Maybe you're too stupid, or too positive. But no matter what, I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want to disappoint you... Because you always sees the best in me."

We live in a room that only a bed and a desk can fit in, our lives are all in this little square and it's very crowded. Our desk is very small too, when Jamie is studying he has to use the space on bed in addition to the desk. My keyboard is too big for the desk (and room :P) too, I always have a lot of step-ups before I get to play it. We always buy the cheapest food from Walmart, and eat the same thing meal by meal. I feel so sorry for Jamie because I can't provide him a better and more comfortable life. He works so hard and so long, but all of his income goes to paying the rent. Don't even mention he's a full-time student.

When we got married, we had to repeat some words from the priest, we made our vows that we will stay with each other and take care of each other no matter what, healthy or sick, poor or rich. Jamie chose me to be his other half and made a decision to start forever-together with me. I never heard any complaint from him, not when we were still living in two sides of the world, not when school and work took away all his energy, not when I was bitching him and picking up fight with him. He sees the best in me and us, always has. He brought me to America and gave me a chance to start over my life, be a happier person.






There's a show Jamie and I both like, called "One Tree Hill". Jamie told me if there's a character I am mostly similar to, I'd be Haley. She is one of the purest people in the world, she's so kind and nice, also very talented. I can't imagine myself being her, not even close, but my husband does.. He pictures me as one of the greatest people..

I didn't make it when I applied to grad school. I now basically can't do anything because I am not a resident yet. I am not a fine person and still have my issues. - These all become his burdens. But every night when he comes home from work, he gives me a hug like he just wants to be with me; he tells me how much he likes the food I make even though they are the same every time. He really treasures me.

We are very young now. Jamie is about to graduate from college in a few months; I may obtain permission to work soon, I will figure out what kind of job I can do here in America. We aren't sure what the future holds, but one thing we are sure is that we will hold each other's hand still.

Song I wrote to Jamie - Until I Met You


Thank you for reading.
-- Teddy :)

It Teaches Me More than That.

For more than three years, I've been planning to go study abroad. I've done some research, exchanged letters with school consultants, and took language tests. I did some research online to look for a language school that suited me, and finally found one in Taipei. I moved to Taipei right after graduating from college in order to start, and I devoted all my time to studying and hoped I would be able to show my persistence on my transcript and the ideal school would accept me.

I had my struggles, like.. I never understood why would they make the test so hard! Why should I study things like Astronomy and Anthropology when I just wanted to be an art student? Why should I compare and analyze the impact the new government policy might bring when I had no interest in politics, and honestly, thinking of 'which one is better' and doing all these comparisons in my mind just makes me so mad.. I tend to be someone who appreciates  all the different values of things.. Didn't they always tell us to learn 'everything will be okay' 'everything is fine'? I thought we should have an open-mind and embrace all the possibilities.. Why was I always asked to write essays to state 'agree and disagree'?

When I finished my first practice book I thought I had improved rapidly and might be able to get a better score next time when I did another model test. (The book was 817 pages) I'd learned how did carol reefs form and how North-American tree frogs melt after being frozen during the winter, I thought biology would not be a challenge to me anymore.. however, I still made mistakes on the next test, because it's not marine biology nor amphibians, the test was about tree rings. So I opened my notebook and wrote down more vocabulary and the new knowledge I just learned.

It's never going to be easier.. no matter how much I learned.. it just never would be easier. It's like what happens in the book/movie Holes. Everybody tells Stanley Yelnats that the first day will be the hardest, but in the end of the second day when Stanley looks at his painful hands, he realizes the second day is the hardest. After all.. every day is relentless to him.

I applied to several schools, and one of them was University of Colorado. The school actually admitted my application and was going to tell me how would I enroll in the next semester. It was the first school I actually applied to. I thought I was a character in one of the Hollywood movies, somebody going to achieve a dream despite having many obstacles. Some people told them their dream was unrealistic, but they didn't give up and eventually someone saw their potential, or they reminded others of themselves so they supported them. I thought I was on my way to success, because I was as brave as those people, I was no less talented than them.

The school cancelled my application because I couldn't afford the tuition fee. I was not one of the movie stars. I cried and thought it's a part of growing up - to realize that I couldn't materialize my dream.

But why? Why do people try to convince us that fairy-tales exist? Why do people create such things?
Moreover.. aren't those producers and writers adults who have been through so many obstacles and have realized so many times reality isn't fun? Why do they still make these movies, write these stories to teach us to be positive?

Are they liars? Is it easier to get people to pull out the money in their wallets to buy their movies if the movies have happy endings?

Maybe besides testing whether or not I knew the technical words about biology, tree frogs also taught me to not be afraid of the fingers of Jack Frost. They can survive even when they are frozen; they melt and repair after all. Tree frogs taught me how to be still and happy after being defeated.

It's okay if I didn't understand how far it is between Jupiter and Earth and what equipments are required to observe stars. I learned the Earth was old and has been through a lot, for many uncountable days it has bred lives. I can survive from a few mistakes on the test.

There are different brightness of stars, but each of the stars has its history and story. Everybody has their own story and different kinds of beauty than the other. If I can, I want to hear each life story from all my friends; and I will learn to admire different people and their beliefs.

Disney and DreamWorks didn't lie to me, they are good examples. If someday I am able to, I want to do something that attributes to the world that has a good ending, to make today a better place.


I decided not to go to any school, FYI. I am about to be a husband, and I want to be the best husband of my dear Jamie. I will continue writing blogs and sharing my life with you. I am learning from the world, life is the school I am going to.

Lately I decided to start a business! I will accept requests from everybody to draw custom portraits. I have been drawing pictures of me and Jamie and people told me they are lovely. So I thought I should do the same for anyone who would cherish them. I am able to design personal pictures for you that you can put in your house as a decoration, or send out as holiday cards. I want to draw happy faces and people holding hands.  :)

After all, it's a good year!

Sorry guys, I haven't written any blog for over a month, I hope you aren't too disappointed. Here started snowing after Thanksgiving I got very very sick. I'd been in bed for a week or so, feeling my head being crushed and squeezed due to the bad fever. I tried to screamed and let Jamie know I felt very uncomfortable but I couldn't make any sound, probably my throat was too sore. When I was in Taiwan, I would go see doctor and have a shot immediately, but Jamie gave my orange juice and told me I would be fine. I thought I would die because I was still coughing badly after a week! lol But yeah.. as I am here to write a new blog, you may know that I am still alive, surviving from the flu.

Jamie was very wonderful, making me food and feeding me water. He took very care of me in those days when I was sick.





While I felt better, I devoted myself to the coming test, spending all the time to study and do practices. It was intense and stressful, I studied many different academic topics, such as phosphorus cycle and children amnesia, as well as Piaget's Cognitive Development Theory, Costumes in Ancient Greek Tragedy, Transcendentalism...etc. :P It was not fun indeed, but I actually learned a lot. It was like a little war between me and the books and self-discipline; I fought with and encouraged to myself.

"The real reason you give up on something is because you don't believe you deserve what you want and you are afraid to face the failure. You act like you know the reality is harsh but you just don't want to admit you aren't even brave enough. Believe in yourself, be more confident. " I told myself everyday.

The test was on Dec20, but something unbelievable happened right before that. It was at the other night two days before the test.. I knew Jamie was coming home from work so starting preparing dinner. He came back and gave me a hug in the kitchen and went to our room. Nothing special, everything was like usual. I brought food to the room after it's made.. My computer was set for some reason (?) Jamie ran to me and led me to our bed, asking me to sit. All of sudden he turned on the music on my computer, it was Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself) It was the song he sent me when he asked me to be his boyfriend... He got down his knee and asked me to marry him.

"What's going on?" I thought.. He must be kidding.. We had a fight earlier last month because he told me this trip that I came here to America was kind of just like a first date and we needed to see what would lead us to next. It broke my heart.. because I had been planning everything in my life that's about him. Whether the stupid test I was taking, finding a way to get into school here in America, everything was in order to get me closer to him, in other words, I had considered him to be somebody forever and more to me. I felt very hurt when he said I took it too seriously.

But he's proposing to me??? He explained what he said was tricking me, he had even planned our wedding before I got here...

I was just shocked and didn't know how to react, and after ten minutes I finally realized it was not a illusion and I started crying very very bad.





He said, "I don't have rings now.. but.. Will you marry me? On Friday, when we go to DC, I want to go to the Court house and marry you."

He gave me the candy canes as part of his proposal. They were actually from his colleague. I laughed in my heart.. that's the reason I loved him I thought. He is not the smartest, the strongest or the richest guy; he will never run to the airport to get me back like they do in the movies. But he is the one who loves me the most and appreciates our love; we are the ones that will make us completed and perfect; we will help each other to grow wiser and stronger; we will grow old together.

I said yes to the candy canes because the man I loved was my very own diamond.

 Our marriage application!

It was definitely the happiest day of my life. I wanted to screamed and expressed how happy I was to the whole world. It had been my dream.. I'd imagined how would I be a good wife/ husband since I was very little. I'd thought about wearing a apron and preparing food for my coming-home-husband; I'd been long for going to bed with my loved one and waking up in his arms. I am so the marring type! lol

But seriously.. Jamie makes me a better person. :) It's not only a dream of being married, it's more like he fits perfectly in my dream.

Our little marriage ceremony will be held on January 23 at the DC Court house. It's funny when the officer asked us when did we want to get married, Jamie replied, "As soon as possible!!!!" Everybody is welcome to join us that day. :D I really wish we could hold a wedding and a reception and invite people to come.. but we can't really afford that at this moment.. I am sorry.

Meeting Family!

As the school semester ended, the holiday came. Jamie took me to visit his family and friends, which made both of us a little nervous. We also wanted to announced our engagement to them.

We visited Jamie's grandparents (mother's side) on Thanksgiving day. I wasn't sure if I shocked his Papa.. but they were all very nice to me. Most of Jamie's family members were as quiet as him. They didn't talk about our relationship.. I couldn't help thinking if it would be different if we weren't a gay couple.. I just hoped they could believe Jamie's in good hands. :)

But on Christmas day when we met again, Jamie's Mamaw remembered where I was from and welcomed me to their house. They even prepared Christmas gifts for me! Jamie's mother bought me a Christmas ornament as it's a tradition she gives her kids every year. I got a Barnes & Noble (bookstore) gift card from Jamie's grandparents. We were surprised they knew I liked to read!! Jamie's sister, Jocelyn, and mom bought me a Instruction and Learning to Play Guitar book!

Jamie bought my a new CD of one of my favorite singers, Sara Bareillies. We've been listening to her music since then!

We also visited Jamie's father and step mom. The moment I saw his Dad, I thought it was cousin or young uncle. Jamie's step mom gave me a hug when she saw me.
Before we went their house, we had rehearsed how would we tell them that we're engaged. lol We thought Jamie would told Dad that I was his Fiancee before he said anything, and I would shake his hand immediately and said it's very nice to meet him, I was Teddy! lol
Although they asked me more things about me than Jamie's mother side, they still didn't ask anything about Jamie and me... Maybe it's really too sensitive.. :') Jamie and I have agreed, no matter people are happy for us or not, we will show them by actions and making good examples in the future. ^_^

Christmas tree we set up at Mom's!

Christmas gifts Mamaw prepared for everybody! It's spetecular!

Dad and step-mom!

Christmas tree at Dad's!

Jamie's buried in the gifts!

Jamie's friends, Kadie and Kyla, and colleagues couldn't be happier for us! Kyla actually hugged Jamie and me several times to congrats us! ^_^ Kyla and her Fiancee accompanied us to a Jewelry store to pick up the rings. It was very nice of them!! Kadie has been helping us to contact a photographer to shoot out engagement pictures! We'll be doing that this Friday!! I really seriously can't wait!!!!!!

Thank you for all our friends on Facebook. My brother was silly and said he's prepared his toast and was ready to cry on my wedding day.  You guys' blessings mean enormously to us. :')

The day when we were in DC, we heard more than three times that people who we encountered telling us we were a great couple! A lady at the metro station asked if we were best friends, and after we clarified we were boyfriends she was so happy! A lady in the restaurant kept giggling and said, "Oh my gosh you guys are just too adorable!" he he ^_^

After all, 2013 was a good year.

This year really was a little too much for me. My life had crazily changed. It's the second year after my mother passed away, my brother and I found out our family members stole out our inherent. Some horrible aunt came to our house and caused a lot of drama, threatened us to give them money. My grandmother secretly took away the money in band account and put into her personal one. It was just too much.


Thankfully I have met Jamie and he's became my cornerstone. Although nightmares still haunt me when I sleep, I now have a warm body to lean on, Jamie really comforts me. I come to realize the past is in the past, and we will strive out a bright future. We are living on our way now. :D