Hello friends, I haven't write any new blog for awhile, I hope you guys haven't forgot because of that. :)
My green card application is processing, which means I am really staying! Even now, I still can't believe this is my life. Part of me is still afraid the bubble will be busted anytime when I am not cautious. Dramatic? I know.. :P I guess the only way to explain it is it's too good to be true.
Last night after Jamie and I kissed goodnight, I started thinking of writing a blog and what would I share in it. When I realized, I was crying already. Jamie was half-asleep, he was so tired after working all day, but my sobbing still woke him up and made him worried. I wiped away my tears and told him I was okay, I said, "Even when our life was hard, and I did not make it any easier, you still chose me, chose us.. Maybe you're too stupid, or too positive. But no matter what, I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want to disappoint you... Because you always sees the best in me."
We live in a room that only a bed and a desk can fit in, our lives are all in this little square and it's very crowded. Our desk is very small too, when Jamie is studying he has to use the space on bed in addition to the desk. My keyboard is too big for the desk (and room :P) too, I always have a lot of step-ups before I get to play it. We always buy the cheapest food from Walmart, and eat the same thing meal by meal. I feel so sorry for Jamie because I can't provide him a better and more comfortable life. He works so hard and so long, but all of his income goes to paying the rent. Don't even mention he's a full-time student.
When we got married, we had to repeat some words from the priest, we made our vows that we will stay with each other and take care of each other no matter what, healthy or sick, poor or rich. Jamie chose me to be his other half and made a decision to start forever-together with me. I never heard any complaint from him, not when we were still living in two sides of the world, not when school and work took away all his energy, not when I was bitching him and picking up fight with him. He sees the best in me and us, always has. He brought me to America and gave me a chance to start over my life, be a happier person.
There's a show Jamie and I both like, called "One Tree Hill". Jamie told me if there's a character I am mostly similar to, I'd be Haley. She is one of the purest people in the world, she's so kind and nice, also very talented. I can't imagine myself being her, not even close, but my husband does.. He pictures me as one of the greatest people..
I didn't make it when I applied to grad school. I now basically can't do anything because I am not a resident yet. I am not a fine person and still have my issues. - These all become his burdens. But every night when he comes home from work, he gives me a hug like he just wants to be with me; he tells me how much he likes the food I make even though they are the same every time. He really treasures me.
We are very young now. Jamie is about to graduate from college in a few months; I may obtain permission to work soon, I will figure out what kind of job I can do here in America. We aren't sure what the future holds, but one thing we are sure is that we will hold each other's hand still.
Song I wrote to Jamie - Until I Met You
Thank you for reading.
-- Teddy :)